HAPPY? WOMEN'S? DAY?

It is a heartwarming and extraordinary feeling for a millennial to see her mother and her school friends who graduated their 10th grade in late 1970s to meet after nearly 40 years to catch up from where they left. I got so excited when my mom whispered in my ear “We would tease this person with this person”.

What fun to reminisce great memories and remember the good old days.

I know a bunch of my mum’s school friends who are really encouraging and friendly towards me. I really want to thank them for giving me this opportunity for expressing my ideas and feelings regarding Women’s day. Nothing was perfect. Nothing is perfect. Nothing will be perfect. So, here’s to an imperfect Women’s day Speech, May we take up space imperfectly.

Women’s Day Speech

Good Evening Everybody!

When given an opportunity to speak on Women’s day, I felt very excited initially. A few days later Self-doubt crept in and I told my mother- I haven’t reached a coveted designation yet in my life. I feel Under Confident- To which my ever energetic and confident mother replied “The fact that you are a woman makes you eligible to give the speech.”

So, here I am.

Feminism simply means all genders having equal rights and opportunities. It’s about respecting diverse women’s experiences, identities, Knowledge and strengths. It is about striving to empower all women to realize their full potential through their rights.

For this opportunity, I decided to read the book “A Feminist Manifesto in 15 suggestions” by Nigerian writer Chimamanda Adichie where she advises her friend how to raise a feminist child.

Here’s what I gathered briefly:

Adichie rightly points out that we should all be feminists to create a fairer world for both women and men. For Adichie Feminism is always contextual. What matters is that we all Try.

One of the tools she urges us to apply always is to think: I MATTER EQUALLY.

Be Unapologetic about the work you do and loving what you do is a great gift to give your child. Sharing Child care equally will not make any parent feel resentment. It’s empowering to teach your daughter Self-reliance. Tell her the importance of doing things for herself and fending for herself. Teach her to read more autobiographies, novels and histories.

Adichie advises to never speak of marriage as an achievement because there’s already an imbalance where the institution of marriage matters more to one than the other. Adichie points out that girls are conditioned to aspire to marriage while boys not so much which creates the imbalance.

It’s important to tell daughters that she too deserves the kindness of others.

She shouldn’t worry about whether everybody likes her. It’s important that she is her full self- Honest and Aware.

As Puberty arrives, Girls stop to play sports. Please encourage her to participate in Sports.

It is important to teach our daughters that Love is not only about giving but also taking.

Women are as human as men are. Not all women are Feminists and not all men are misogynists.

Adichie concludes by saying “We do not know and cannot know everything about Life.

Both religion and science have spaces for the things we do not know, and it is enough to make peace with that.”

To quote Adichie: “Teach her never to universalize her own standards or experiences. Teach her that her standards are for her alone, and not for other people. This is the only necessary form of humility: the realization that difference is normal.”

A few years back I wrote a poem on my mother:

Amma, I don’t want to be you

I walk with confidence because of my mother

I’m brimming with love because of my mother

People look up to me because of my mother

Yet, I don’t want to be her

I’m educated because of my mother’s patience

I’m beautiful because of my mother’s radiance

She always tells me “You have to lose first to win”

That’s why I don’t want to be her

Not because she asked me to lose but she asked me to give up!

I love my mother the most

She is Confident, She is lively and She’s

The one who keeps the family

Yet I don’t want to be her

She asks me to accept defeat

She asks me to be happy when I cannot

I love my mother the most

She brims with happiness when I oppose society and fight regarding my choices.

She says “I see myself in you. You are being what I couldn’t be”

Yet she asks me to stay quiet

I love you amma

But I will never be you

And that’s okay you said the other day because you want me to grow

Maybe I’ll not be you Amma!

But I’ll remember your scars and

Erase them with the liberating flavors of freedom…

• Now, A few years into the present I want to be you Amma.

You’ve always tried to teach me through example that Self care is important, You’ve managed the finances with utmost honesty and courage. The most proud aspect is that you’ve given me your name. This is Shivarshini Basavaraj Veena signing off and wishing you all a very happy and meaningful women’s day celebration.

Thank you.